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The Therapy Sessions
Thursday, July 03, 2003

It takes a Village to Fisk an Idiot

Rachel Lucas says it would take a whole village of fiskers to properly deconstruct the logic of Michael Moore’s latest .

How could anyone be a fan of this loser? It's clear he needs therapy (and when I started the Therapy Sessions, I thought I had the psychiatric problem!).

Fisking him is like sharpshooting cows.

I am worried though. It is best not to argue with an idiot. A witness might not be able to distinguish you from the fool. Does this apply in fisking? Do I now look as dumb as a brick because I'm arguing with Michael Moore?

Come to think of it, my brain is feeling jelly-like...

Dear Lt. George W. Bush,

I hope you don't mind me referring to you by the only true military rank you ever achieved, that being the one from your on-again, off-again "days" in the, um, Texas Air National Guard. Ever since I saw you in that flyboy outfit, landing on that ship, I assumed you now wanted to be addressed by your military title, as opposed to the civilian rank imposed on you by your dad's friends.

Oh Boy. Looks like somebody needs a refresher course in the art of persuasion.

Rule#1: Keep your cool.

Moore is writing with clenched teeth: he has probably broken the point of his pen (crayon?) several times. This is the tone of a man who just got sacked, got drunk, totaled his car, and drank two pots of coffee to calm down.

This is not a rational voice here, no sir.

When writing something like, I don’t know, a PUBLIC letter to the President of the United States, it's best to wait until after the anger management therapy (or at least wait until the end of your Time Out).

I saw the guy on TV yesterday that your boys found, the Iraqi who said he had “planted” some nuclear plans in his “back yard” in Baghdad -- 12 years ago – “under a rose bush.”

Woo boy. That's a good one. Do you really think we are as dumb as we look?

Uh, It depends on what who you mean by “we.”

There is nothing trivial about the concealment and preservation of NUCLEAR CENTRIFUGE parts. They were supposed to be turned over and destroyed 12 years ago. The fact that they were preserved is evidence that they were to be used again, exactly as the scientist claimed.

A nuclear weapon is Saddam’s hands? Not a good thing.

You see, George, it's not the lying and the doctoring of intelligence that has me all upset.

No “innocent until proven guilty” for Michael Moore. No acknowledgement that intelligence gathering is a fickle, uncertain business. There are double spies giving fake info, people who want to settle scores making up stuff about rivals, and people who hated Saddam and were willing to say anything to get him killed.

Nope, it all boils down to BUSH LIED.

The problem with such simplistic thinking is it ignores the evidence. Why did Saddam treat biologists and chemists so well (they were among the most pampered officials) and why were they working with high-ranking military officials? Military types and scientists mix like oil and water, and thugs like Saddam have no fascination for science. Why were promising students given government scholarships to study abroad (provided they studied nuclear science)? Iraq has more oil than it needs. Why would it need nuclear scientists?

Why would Saddam have destroyed his weaponry to satisfy UN demands and then kept it a secret from the UN? This makes no sense. He could have shown all the incinerated weaponry and gotten sanctions lifted, and he’d still be there today.

Why did other governments (France, China, Russia and even the UN) make the same conclusions that the US did about Iraq’s arsenal?

The answers to these questions are unknown. It is still a mystery and an important one. But Moore has it all figured out.

And he is eager to shut the book and title it: BUSH LIED!

What’s the rush? Let’s find out the real truth.

It's that you've had control of Iraq for over two months now -- and you couldn't even find the time to plant just a few nukes or vats of nerve gas and at least make it LOOK like you weren't lying to us.

You see, by not faking some evidence of weapons of mass destruction, it shows that you thought no one would mind if it turned out you made everything up.

No, it shows respect for the truth and respect for Americans. This is what Americans expect and deserve. Americans can handle the truth. And they are prepared to wait to find it.

So you quickly produced this man and his rose bush and some 12-year old piece (sic) of paper and some metal parts. CNN broke in at 5:15pm and screamed they had the exclusive! "IRAQI NUCLEAR PLANS FOUND!" But a few good reporters started asking some hard questions -- and, barely 3 hours later, your own administration was forced to admit the plans were "not the smoking gun” proving that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.

Illogical: If the administration had “produced this man,” as Moore alleges, one would think they would trumpet the findings, not dampen them.

I know, I need help.

Yes, you do. Moore is crying out for therapy.

It is useful to ask why some country (France?) has not come out and accused the US of lying. They would love to, but they can't.

Why? Their governments are reluctant to look like idiots when the truth comes out.

Looney left-wing nuts like Moore lack that sense of caution.

Hell, they’ve been wrong so many times that the public lost count and stopped paying attention years ago.

Rachel says he may be crazy.

I agree.

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