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The Therapy Sessions
Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Grimace? Are you OK?

I get nervous whenever I see the McDonald's flag flying at half mast. Part of that is the worry that one of these guys might know of a national tragedy before I hear of it.

But we all know that Grimace has been looking well lately. He's always struggled with his weight, and he's lived a hard life of booze, drugs and women. But lately, there have been massive disappointments and he has been arrested by Officer Big Mac several times (Drunk and Disorderly Conduct, Possession of a Controlled Substance, Public Nudity). Mayor McCheese has even called him a threat to the values of McDonaldland.

Of course, the sad days in McDonaldland this time have more to do with the death of a businessman, but is there a far more terrible story coming in the future.

God! If you must take the life of a large purple fantasy creature, might I suggest Barney?

Millions of parents would be thankful.

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