The Therapy Sessions
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Employment opportunities for flat-chested suicide bombers...
Stories like this freak me out: TSA Changing Pat-Down Policy
Sources at the Transportation Security Administration confirm they're changing the way they conduct pat-downs. Some women have complained bitterly recently that the more thorough pat-downs to check for explosives just went to far - especially in the breast area.
Federal News Radio AM 1050/WTOP has learned the examination in that area, and possibly other areas, will be tempered.
People have been searched more intensely, including in intimate areas, since September, after two Russian planes were blown up by women who boarded strapped with explosives.
Now, I am under the impression that women are only patted down by other women. So unless the TSA agent is a lesbian (admittedly a possibility), nobody is really getting any thrills out of this.
But TSA stupidity doesn't manage to surprise me anymore. Announcing they will no longer pat down women's breasts presents a nice opportunity to terrorists.
Get ready for really action-packed brassieres. And ads like this on Al Jazeera:
International Islamic fundamentalist terrorist organization seeking poorly-endowed women for matyrdom operations. Must be full of self loathing and a rabid desire to kill people you don't know. American visa a definite plus. Downtrodden and cursed by Allah as you are, you - a despicable woman - can yet serve as a hero to millions of rabid, jew-hating nutjobs and America-loathers in the Arab world and American universities! We are a highly-admired employer promising an excellent work environment, with only the best death benefits.
Yes, you can do it - despite the fact that you are a wretched, lowly female.
(Female applicants are cautioned that upon completion of a martyrdom operation, only male applicants are entitled to recieve a payment of 72 virgins upon entering paradise. Female employees do get into paradise - Allah willing - and their name is added to the esteemed Martyr's Honor Roll.)