The Therapy Sessions
Saturday, July 26, 2003
The Way To Handle Nudists
This has been quite a year for nudism. We have seen nude protests that made me wonder if nudity was such a good thing: pale, sag-assed, hairy hippies so darn angry about the war that they couldn't help but expose themselves. If they were young and nubile, great! But this is beyond indency! These are nude grandmothers!
Britain finally has solved the problem. Faced with an infestation of nudists, the British used the most potent weapon available to them.
They sprayed them with herbicide.
The nudists fled. And they put their clothes back on.
The nudists were covered with the herbicide Asulox, reports The Daily Mail.
One of them, Colin James, 59(emphasis mine), said: "The victims had to leave the beach, because they were suffering from headaches, streaming eyes, coughs and sore throats."
The naturists have complained to the National Trust, which commissioned the spraying at Studland.
They have also reported the matter to environmental health officers.
Roger Garwood of Purbeck District Council, said: "Several sunbathers suffered sore throats and other sore parts."
Other sore parts? Ouch!