The Therapy Sessions
Friday, August 29, 2003
Every now and then I come across a really shitty blog. Like this one.
Travels With Tom?
Tom Daschle is the creepy, wrinkled Senator from South Dakota. He cares about you more than you do, and he'd like to see government turned into one big social agency providing you with a union-built house, subsidized food, free child care, free college, free health care, and a free union guy to mow your lawn (nobody ever asked if Tom passed Economics 101).
Tom's such a swell guy...why he even uses your money to pay every farmer in South Dakota to keep the votes coming!
And he's sentimental, too:
For the last ten years, I’ve gotten in my car every August and driven all over South Dakota – no schedule and no staff. My “unscheduled driving tour” is always one of the highlights of the year for me. I find it an invaluable tool for keeping in touch with needs and concerns of South Dakotans. Every year I meet the most fascinating people, have the most amazing experiences, and end up with great stories to tell.
Charming. Oh, do tell, Tom. (Isn't this the script of a dumb Dell Computer ad?)
Last weekend, I visited the Rosebud Indian Reservation for their annual pow wow. Like everywhere else I have been on my month-long driving tour, it did not take long for the conversation to turn to health care.
Their annual "pow wow?" I'll bet the dialog there was really interesting:
"White Man come from city built on swamp. Face wrinkled, like buffalo's ass. He speak with forked tongue about making red man dependent on government of white man. He want to take Chief Running Bear's thunderstick, and tax Crapping Bear's firewater. Two Dogs Fucking say he want to give medicine for small wampum."
And there's this:
Tomorrow, I am going to take a break from my vacation to meet with Dale Bosworth – the Chief of the United States Forest Service – to talk about forest management. Chief Bosworth and I will also have the opportunity to tour the Beaver Park area of the Black Hills National Forest to see how the thinning of pine beetle-infested trees is going.
Oh Tom, can we come along? Please? But he's not done!
I learned a new health term today. . . The term is: Second Marriage. Barb, a Postmaster in a small South Dakota town, introduced me to it. She said, "I have a second marriage. . . and it is to my job. "Then she explained. "This second marriage is one I can't get out of because it is the only way that I can keep my health benefits. I am married to my job because I have no other choice. . . It occurred to me that this is a side of the health care crisis I hadn't given enough thought to.
A side of the health care crisis he hadn't given thought to? He's been in Washington blabbing about health care for twenty years! This whole damn blog's about health care.
And it just crossed his mind that health care's an expensive benefit?
He must be retarded. No wonder the asshole thinks that lawyers suing doctors all the time is part of the "solution."
The big idea in his uncrowded head? Government can pick up the tab! They print money, don't they? They can just print more!
This site has forced me to do something I regret. On my sidebar, I now have header for "Really Shitty Blogs."
Travels With Tom gets the first slot.
The Blogoverse is a huge, cold vacuum made up mostly of lightweight thoughts.
There will be more "Really Shitty Blogs."