Who Knew He Was Single?

Bachelor Number One is a candidate for the US presidency, naively pledging to rename the Defense Department the "Department Of Peace." He wants the US to implement a fiscally ruinous universal health scheme so that he can do to America what he did to Cleveland: Drive it into bankruptcy! Yes! It's Dennis J. Kucinich!

Mr. Kucinich, can you describe your perfect woman?

"As a bachelor, I get a chance to fantasize about my first lady," Kucinich said. "I would definitely want someone who would not just be there by my side, but be a working partner because I think we're in a day and age when partnerships are imperative to making anything happening in the world."

"And I certainly want a dynamic, outspoken woman who was fearless in her desire for peace in the world and for universal single-payer health care and a full employment economy," the four-term congressman told the forum. "If you are out there call me."

Too bad Barbra Streisand is taken.



- posted by total @ 11/11/2003 06:26:00 AM .