Poor Choice Of Words

NEW YORK — Michael Jackson (search) says he was manhandled by authorities when arrested last month on child molestation charges -- and suffered a dislocated shoulder from the way he was handcuffed.

My Thoughts Exactly

Either way, giddy rival campaigns see a metaphor. The image could be the most damaging since Kerry was captured nibbling at a cheese steak in Philadelphia after requesting Swiss cheese.

Poland

I found the cure to anti-Americanism: Come to Poland.

After two years of traveling almost exclusively to Western Europe and the Middle East, Poland feels like a geopolitical spa. I visited here for just three days and got two years of anti-American bruises massaged out of me. Get this: people here actually tell you they like America — without whispering. What has gotten into these people? Have all their subscriptions to Le Monde Diplomatique expired? Haven't they gotten the word from Berlin and Paris? No, they haven't. In fact, Poland is the antidote to European anti-Americanism. Poland is to France what Advil is to a pain in the neck. Or as Michael Mandelbaum, the Johns Hopkins foreign affairs specialist, remarked after visiting Poland: "Poland is the most pro-American country in the world — including the United States."

What's this all about? It starts with history and geography. There's nothing like living between Germany and Russia — which at different times have trampled Poland off the map — to make Poles the biggest advocates of a permanent U.S. military presence in Europe. Said Ewa Swiderska, 25, a Warsaw University student: "We are the small kid in school who is really happy to have the big guy be his friend — it's a nice feeling."

The Implications Of Libya

"It clearly proves that diplomacy can win over proliferation of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons," added Javier Solana, the European Union's foreign policy representative.

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi, in an exclusive interview with CNN, acknowledged Monday that the war in Iraq may have played a role in his decision to dismantle his country's weapons of mass destruction programs.

France mixed its praise of British and American diplomacy with an appeal for Tripoli to rapidly conclude negotiations on compensation for the 1989 bombing of a French UTA airliner over Niger that killed 170 people.

Irrelevant Annan

United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan (search) has a message for those who have the impression that he and the world body are slanted against U.S. interests — "I'm not anti-American."

Annan, in an exclusive interview with Fox News, called that characterization unfair and unfortunate.

Be Nice To The Tyrant!

BARMY BBC bosses have banned reporters from calling tyrant Saddam Hussein a former dictator.

Instead, staff must refer to the barbaric mass murderer as “the deposed former President”.

The astonishing edict was seized on by MPs last night as more proof of a Left-wing bias inside the BBC against the Iraqi war.

So That's Why He Turned To A Life Of Crime

Last meals on Texas' death row never were haute cuisine, but for many Web browsers, they held a morbid fascination....

....Where viewers once could learn that Houston killer Richard Head Williams, executed last winter, dined on two chili cheese dogs, two cheeseburgers, two orders of onion rings, french fries, chocolate cake, apple pie, butter pecan ice cream, egg rolls, one peach and three Dr Peppers, they now will see more features on prison workers and programs presented in a lively, user-friendly format.

Who Knew? Toothlessness In Appalachia?

There was nothing for the older folk of Appalachia to smile about after the government released its latest study of toothlessness among the elderly, which found the region leading the nation in tooth-loss.

Kentucky and West Virginia have the highest percentage of older adults missing all their natural teeth according to data collected in 2002 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

All Stopped Up

One Dumb Witch Doctor

A traditional doctor in central Nigeria has been shot dead by a patient who was testing the potency of an anti-bullet charm the herbalist had prepared for him, police told AFP.

Ashi Terfa died when patient Umaa Akor fired a gun at his head two weeks ago in south-central Benue state, police spokesman Bode Fakeye said Wednesday.

"Akor went for an insurance against bullets and contacted Terfa to prepare it for him," he said.

"To confirm its efficacy, the herbalist tied the charm around his neck and insisted that Akor should fire a gun at him. The experiment proved fatal for the herbalist and his skull was shattered," he added. "He died immediately".

Satellite Radio Rules

RADIO is awesome, isn't it? It's free, it's on whenever you want it, and you can choose from among eight or 10 stations. About the only people who could possibly complain about it, in fact, are people who have to listen to it.

They'll tell you that the music you hear on the radio is mostly the same cloying pop junk, played over and over. That 20 minutes of every hour is ads, played over and over. And that as you drive, the signal comes and goes with the territory.

Two years ago, two companies - XM and Sirius - came up with the same solution: pay radio. Each went to the trouble of blasting private satellites into orbit. Each beams 100 channels of clean, static-proof digital sound down to XM and Sirius receivers in the cars and home stereos of monthly subscribers.

So why would people pay for radio, when they have a free alternative?

Because satellite radio is fantastic - a cultural source unlike any other. It's so addictive, the Sirius manual actually refers to its customers as "users."

Albright's Knee Slapper

Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright insisted Wednesday that she was just kidding when she wondered aloud whether the Bush administration is holding Usama bin Laden captive, waiting to break him out at the best political moment.

The Perfect Last Minute Gift For The Insomniac On Your Christmas List

The United Nations on Wednesday launched what it billed as a fun CD-ROM aimed at the "six to 96 age group" to spread knowledge of how the organization works.

The $10 disc, "Discover the U.N. and Have Fun" is to go on sale in U.N. bookshops and information centers around the globe.

Ahhhh!

Dennis Kucinich, Financial Genius

Clark's net worth is far less than the assets of Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.), who, with his wife, is worth an estimated $500 million. According to news accounts, the net worth of other Democratic candidates ranges from $13 million to $60 million for Sen. John Edwards (N.C.); $2.2 million to $5 million for former Vermont governor Howard Dean; and $2,000 to $32,000 for Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich (Ohio).

Successfully Stopping Santa

The ACLU has successfully stopped Santa from visiting public schools in Baldwin, Kan., because his presence constitutes illegal proselytizing by the school, reports the Baldwin City Signal.

After receiving a letter of complaint from the American Civil Liberties Union, the school board there voted to put a stop to the nefarious activities and said it will re-examine how it treats all religious holidays in the schools.

The ACLU complained that in a visit to an elementary school last year, Santa gave out candy canes and asked the kids why Christmas is celebrated. The kids had the nerve to pop up and answer Jesus’ birthday.

Saddam Speaks!

The men then asked Mr. Hussein about events in his nearly 35 years in power that officials in the United States and elsewhere cite in accusing the former ruler. They cited these examples:

Asked about the use of chemical weapons against the Kurds in the northern Iraqi town of Halabja in 1988, in which an estimated 5,000 people were killed, Mr. Hussein said, according to his visitors, that this was the work of Iran, at war with Iraq at the time.

Asked about the mass graves of tens of thousands of Iraqis uncovered since Mr. Hussein was toppled from power in the American-led offensive this spring, Mr. Rubaie said Mr. Hussein answered: "Ask their relatives. They were thieves, and they ran away from the battlefields with Iran and from the battlefields of Kuwait."

Asked why he invaded Kuwait in 1990, provoking the American-led assault on Iraq the next year, he said Kuwait was rightfully a part of Iraq.

Just Keep Telling Yourself That!

President Bush justified his decision to topple Hussein by accusing the dictator of continuing banned programs to develop chemical, biological and nuclear weapons, and of cooperating with al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden's terrorist network.

No evidence has been found substantiating those allegations, fueling accusations that Bush and his top aides exaggerated the threat from Hussein to bolster public support for the war.

Iraq's coalition government claims that it has uncovered documentary proof that Mohammed Atta, the al-Qaeda mastermind of the September 11 attacks against the US, was trained in Baghdad by Abu Nidal, the notorious Palestinian terrorist.

Details of Atta's visit to the Iraqi capital in the summer of 2001, just weeks before he launched the most devastating terrorist attack in US history, are contained in a top secret memo written to Saddam Hussein, the then Iraqi president, by Tahir Jalil Habbush al-Tikriti, the former head of the Iraqi Intelligence Service.

Merry Christmas!

Hard Boozing Aussies

A leading Australian politician apparently stole a number of bottles of wine, imbibed their contents, and then assailed a fellow senator, calling her a "f--ing bitch" in parliament. Hand-wringing Aussies have subsequently re-examined their country's leaders' fondness for a drink or two. I liked this story:

In a recent book, journalist Mungo MacCallum recounted a trip the then prime minister, [John Gorton] took to Melbourne in a VIP aircraft after a hard day in Parliament.

"He chose to unwind with a few drinks on the plane, some pre-dinner cocktails at the Sheraton, some wines, a port or two and the odd palate cleanser before being wheeled back to Tullamarine for the flight back to Canberra.

"He decided on a little nap, but on waking with the engines thrumming in his ears was so queasy he threw up in the aisle. A stewardess arrived to clean up the mess and Gorton turned on the legendary charm: 'Well, my dear,' he grinned, 'I suppose you're surprised that an old RAAF man like me can still get airsick?' But for once he was out done; the stewardess replied cheerfully: 'I am actually, Prime Minister, because the plane hasn't taken off yet."

The Inquirer Soils Itself Again

Free Speech?

WASHINGTON - A divided Supreme Court upheld the broadest restrictions on campaign donations in nearly 30 years Wednesday, ruling the nation is better off with limits on the financial influence of deep-pocket donors even if money never can be divorced from politics.

Rooting out corruption, or even the appearance of it, justifies limitations on the free speech and free spending of contributors, candidates and political parties, the court said in a 5-4 decision.

Under those limits, groups such as the Sierra Club or the National Rifle Association may run ads about specific candidates within 60 days of a general election only if the ads were paid for with money from donors whose identities have been disclosed to the Federal Election Commission.

Message Received, Loud And Clear

The United States is not going to quit. Instead, it will convert poles of Jihadi flags into arrows to pierce the hearts of terrorists - who ultimately will be consigned to the dustbin of history.

Say It Ain't So!

This Is Big News?

Glad To Have You Aboard, Matt

The missing voice. At this crucial juncture, there is simply no voice for generational equity and fiscal sanity in American politics. The bill's $400 billion over 10 years - which all sides know is just a down payment on seniors' drug costs - is all being borrowed from our children.

Who says younger taxpayers should be footing most of the bill for non-poor seniors when there are already $25 trillion in unfunded liabilities in Social Security and Medicare today? Not to mention 44 million uninsured, and a host of other unmet needs for Americans who happen not to be senior citizens.

Put another way, what will non-poor seniors' food bills be over the next decade? Or clothing bills? Should younger workers be expected to fund most of those as well?

Speak Up, NYT!

The Mind Reader

Evil Wal-Mart

The company that ate America is now swallowing Mexico.

Wal-Mart, the biggest corporation in the United States, is already the biggest private employer in Mexico, with 100,164 workers on its payroll here as of last week. Last year, when it gained its No. 1 status in employment, it created about 8,000 new positions — nearly half the permanent new jobs in this struggling country.

Wal-Mart's power is changing Mexico in the same way it changed the economic landscape of the United States, and with the same formula: cut prices relentlessly, pump up productivity, pay low wages, ban unions, give suppliers the tightest possible profit margins and sell everything under the sun for less than the guy next door.

Who Would Have Thought? Hunting Works!

The next day, teams of wildlife officials started dropping in on hundreds of butchers across the state. Working on bloody barrels in freezing coolers, they tried to determine whether the deer brought in for processing into steaks and sausage were any different than last year. They had hoped that the males would be older, meaning they had lived longer and grown larger.

They were.

'I've never seen anything like it,' said wildlife biologist Gary Alt. Bucks at least two years old made up more than half the deer Alt examined at butchers in Wayne and Pike Counties. That compared with 15 percent in past seasons, he said, when the vast majority of kills were yearlings.

The early numbers surprised even Alt, who drew up and heads the Pennsylvania Game Commission's deer-management program and who spent thousands of hours persuading skeptical lawmakers - and their powerful hunting constituency - to give it a try.

Campaign Finance Reform Silliness

The candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination has agreed to host the 90-minute comedy show this weekend but his appearance will trigger federal rules regarding equal time for political candidates.

It could also cause headaches for NBC affiliates in states where Sharpton is already on the ballot.

My Inquirer Letter

Your children will pay

Now that Medicare is being expanded, fiscal conservatives have two non-choices out there: bigger government and much bigger government.

Enjoy those drugs, seniors! That money is coming out of my son's paycheck.

You should probably thank him. Where does he work? He doesn't work. He's 3 years old.

Oh, don't worry, and please don't feel any guilt. His brother is chipping in, too. He's 6 months old.

I'll try to raise them to be good workers, but it might be hard telling them not to cheat on their taxes.

John Rogers
Bryn Mawr

The Top Ten Muslim-American Occupations

Student 20%
Engineer 12%
Physician/Dentist 11%
Homemaker 10%
Programmer 7%
Corporate Manager 6%
Teacher 6%
Small Business Owner 4%
Researcher 4%
Admin. Assistant 3%

Maybe Philly Mayor Street Isn't That Bad...

Jimmy Inserts A Foot Into His Mouth

Mr. Carter, defeated in his quest for re-election by Ronald Reagan in 1980, speculated that 'had I been elected to a second term, with the prestige and authority and influence and reputation I had in the region, we could have moved to a final solution.'

A Silver Lining?

We'd add that Social Security reform becomes even more important to Mr. Bush's Presidency and his political coalition in the wake of the Medicare giveaway. Republicans are bragging that by giving seniors a vast new entitlement they will sweep to victory in 2004. But the price of that 'victory' has those of us who believe in limited government wondering what difference there is between the two parties.

Tariff Turnabout

Saddam Was No Threat!