When will the roadrunner learn?

Painted Desert, Arizona - Undaunted by his latest 6000 foot plunge yesterday from Widowmaker Pass, local roadrunner predator Wile E. Coyote vowed to "redouble my efforts to follow the Acme roadmap process."

"It is crucial that we look past the violence, the plungings, the telephone wire slicings, boulder crushings, and bowling ball mishaps of the past," he said, emerging from his 12 foot coyote-shaped impact crater at the bottom of Deadman's Gorge.

Dusting himself off while emitting accordion noises, Coyote added, "I personally pledge to work with the representatives of Acme to explore every option - whether it is jet powered roller skates, iron birdseed and giant magnets, or industrial rubber bands - that will finally end the cycle of piano-flattenings. The pursuit of this goal is too important."