That damning PDB

WHITE HOUSE RELEASES PDB

White House officials today released the contents of the controversial August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Brief (PDB) memo that was the focus of acrimonious 9-11 commission testimony last week.

Entitled 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S., Donuts in Breakroom,' the newly declassified document warned that 'according to 1997 reports, bin Laden is poised to launch an assault in the US, sometime in the next two to fifty years, concentrating on cruise ships, cities, the Pacific Northwest, airlines, Orange Julius stands, national parks, The Daytona 500, or possibly Wrestlemania XXII: Summer Smackdown,' using a variety of methods up to and including 'chemical, biological and nuclear weapons, suicide operatives, LSD, specially trained attack monkeys, laser cannons, and/or truckloads of surplus Fizzies.