The Therapy Sessions
Friday, July 30, 2004
Tom Ferrick on the Democratic Convention:Good politics, awful television:
Be honest. With those pearly whites and that helmet hair, doesn't John Edwards remind you of a televangelist?
I kept waiting for him to blurt out: 'Have you heard the good news about Jesus Christ?' and hit us up for a donation.
I hadn't been able to put my finger on it, but yes, he does remind me of a televangelist.
Kind of like a Jim Bakker character, without the nutso painted bride and "Praise Jesus" roller coaster theme park.
They do need a few miracle workers in this party.
They've got plenty of lepers:
A favorite moment of the convention: Wednesday's 'Minute with the Lepers,' where George McGovern, Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis were introduced to wave to the crowd.
The three weren't allowed anywhere near the podium. They were consigned to the convention floor, sitting amidst delegates who presumably were under orders to tackle them if they tried to make a break for the CNN booth.
Now, class, what do McGovern, Mondale and Dukakis have in common?
They are liberals. They are losers.
And the Democrats have had quite enough of liberal losers, thank you.
Not quite enough.
Ah, what the hell. Just another drink! Bartender, make it a double!
Like alcoholics, the donks keep coming back to Mad Dog liberalism. Just a quick beer on the way home becomes several, and pretty soon they are imbibing the wildest batch Michael Moore popskull in the bar. They are the life of the party - dancing, singing, wearing their funny outfits and waving flags. They drink everything in sight, weave home and stumble around the living room, swearing at their hallucinations.
That is, until the voters come after them with the frying pan.
Strangely enough, Bill Clinton (Bill Clinton!)has been a voice of moderation in the party, urging them to lay off the booze.
But alas, once again, they have fallen off the wagon.
They just can't help themselves.