The Therapy Sessions
Friday, June 03, 2005
The Diversity Kit
Oh. My. God.
Kerckhoff Coffeehouse: The Diversity Kit
A friend of mine was given this at his government job, and sent it to me. The things on the list were actually included in a little ziplock accompanying the list:Button - To remind you to "button your lips" to keep from saying hurtful things about others and to keep from making remarks or jokes which might be racist, sexist or in any way hurtful to others.
Lifesaver - To remind you that you can be a lifesaver to others by courageously standing up to negative statements which can erode an individual's self-esteem.
Band Aid - To remind you to heal hurt feelings whether they are yours or someone else's.
Rubber Band - To remind you to be flexible. Someone else might have a better idea or a different experience which can provide valuable solutoins.
Toothpick - To remind you to "pick out" the good qualities in everyone regardless of their race, ethnicity, sex, age, or any other factor which differs from yours.
Eraser - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes sometimes and we need to ease our embarrassment when a mistake has been made by ourselves or by others.
Tissues - To remind you to dry someone's tears, or perhaps your own, so you can see the tears caused by racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination.
Mint - To remind you that, in valuing diversity, you are worth a mint to your organization.
Rainbow - To remind you of the many colors and cultures in our world, and to show you how beautiful these can be when blended together.
What a wonderful way for my friend's government employer to spend tax dollars.
Except that my friend is an adult.
I kept most of the items in the kit. The button to repair my favorite shirt. The Lifesaver, because it's banana flavored: MY FAVORITE!! The Band Aid, because I might cut myself some day. The rubber band to keep my bread fresh. The eraser, because the one on my pencil is worn to the nub, and I might need it to erase something I've written in error.
I blew my nose with the tissue, and ate the mint because my breath currently reeks of the onions I had with breakfast. The toothpick was handy for prying that sausage from between my molars.
The rainbow colored swatch is bound for our local landfill, where I hope it will serve to inspire rats and seagulls to coexist harmoniously.
Perhaps they should include some Ex-Lax in the diversity kit.
Anyone who can read halfway through that garbage without feeling a need to take shit needs chemical assistance.