The Therapy Sessions
Friday, September 23, 2005
I work at a large research company.
I love my job and I feel that its important.
The people I work with directly are first rate, as are most of the people I work with indirectly.
In short, life is good.
But lately a dark cloud has entered my life.
Some very important company officials (VICO's ?) are coming to visit my lab - where we have been doing some interesting work.
But all of the people I work with are freaking out like newlyweds having the in-laws visit their home for the first time.
A friend who spent some time in the Navy said that it reminded him of the time their ship got boarded by the admiral.
Everything must be spotless. Minor cosmetic changes are being made right and left to impress the executives, who probably wouldn't know a lab from a staff toilet.
I mean, these people have visited manufacturing sites, and they are way dirtier than we are!
Everyone is horrified that they will open up the company newpaper in October and read: "Company officials left the laboratories visibly shaken by the clutter and disorganization...."
I can understand most of it.
For example, they are reminding us of company policies on dress.
They are not going to make me rent a tux for the day, but when the bigwigs are walking through, you don't want them to see some scraggily guy who looks like he crawled out of hamper flashing the company badge.
But still - I'd love it if these guys lived up to the what people seem to be preparing for.
One could saunter up to the associate director...
"You there! Simple lab tech! Are you not delighted with the wondrous opportunities the company has given you? Did you ever think your humble high school diploma would bring such blessings?" And in a whisper: "The company offers educational opportunites for you to better yourself. Talk to your HR representative."
That would be rich.
But alas, the visitors will be smiling and quite normal - well, as normal as someone can be who controls several million shares of company stock. They will smile, shake hands and leave on the company helicopter.
And they won't even notice that we cleaned the windows!